Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Stuff: Gift of the MaAARRGHHH!

From Tor via the fine folks at SoHo's McNally Jackson bookstore, a little Christmas cheer.

If that doesn't warm the cockles of your heart, then you may not have cockles. Acockletic individuals may experience the following symptoms: Discomfort, pressure, heaviness, or pain in the chest, arm or below the breastbone; discomfort radiating to the back, jaw, throat or arm; fullness, indigestion or choking feeling (may feel like heartburn); sweating, nausea, vomiting or dizziness; extreme weakness, anxiety or shortness of breath; and rapid or irregular heartbeats. See your doctor immediately.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: And Now the Screaming Starts is for entertainment purposes only. Health information received on the site does not constitute medical advice. ANTSS is not designed to and does not provide medical advice, professional diagnosis, opinion, treatment or services to you or to any other individual. ANTSS does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, products, procedures, opinions or other information that may be provided on the linked websites. Though, dude, if you don't have cockles, then you're totally going to die unless you get to a doctor. If I were you, I'd be panicked already.


Dustin said...

Thanks for the shout out to McNJ. Acockletic disorder sounds just like a heart attack and or love. Oh, and being broke and aimless and 27.

CRwM said...


Thanks for swinging by.

AD, as the acockletic community calls it, is often misdiagnosed as a heart attack, love, or life in Manhattan for anybody under 30. That's why it is crucially important that all peoeple under 40 get tested of acockletitus 28 times a year and adults over 40 get tested every 6.75 minutes.

Sue H said...

CRwM: I don't have cockles! I'm sure!!!!!

CRwM said...


I can recommend some cockle specialists on the Continent. The French and the Germans can do some amazing things with cockles. I'm told.

Peter Kwong said...

CRwM -

How do I contact you about an exciting project coming up? It's called HYBRID, and it's coming out in both trade paperback in February and scheduled to begin film in early 2009 with Ernie Barbarash ("Cube Zero") directing, and Myriad Pictures ("Jeepers Creepers II") producing. Yes. I am the writer of said project. We're looking to get the word out on the trade paperback. Let me know if you'd like to cover it. Thanks.

CRwM said...


Thanks for stopping by. I can be emailed at crwm44[at]yahoo[dot]com. I'll be happy give it a look.