Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Stuff: What about "Ketchup from the Black Lagoon"?

There's naught sweeter to a blogger than the celebrity commenter and this humble little blog is rapidly becoming the freakin' Viper Room of horror blogs!

Besides Screamin' Cattleworks, who appears in the soon-to-be-reviewed Prison of the Psychotic Damned, we've had painter Isabel Samaras, whose surreal pop vision helped us give Lily Munster a stylish send off.

Now, joining this select group of V.I.P.-posters, we hear from Victor "The Undertaker" Ives, the zombie king numero uno behind Haunted Hot Sauce.

The Undertaker writes:

Hey all,

I realize this is an old post but I just had to respond.

I've been a "zombie-holic" for most of my life. For some reason, the thought of the living dead seemed more believable to me than some of the other Hollywood monsters and therefore more frightening. It's only because of the recent zombie trend that people are interested enough in my products for me to build a business from it. I'm in zombie hot sauce heaven! Not only am I able to build a small business creating zombie-themed hot sauce products and building cedar coffins, I get to talk about it all year long w/ fine folks such as your selves. Feel free to contact me if you're interested in pursuing one of your other monster-themed hot sauce ideas...sounds like fun! Thanks!!

Stay Rotten,
Victor "The Undertaker" Ives


So the question I put to you, Screamers and Screamettes, what monster-themed hot sauce should we propose?

8 comments:

Heather Santrous said...

Oh that is an easy one. A hot sauce to be used against vampires you see. Have it have a bit of a garlic twist to it. That is my best idea. Not much I know. lol

CRwM said...

Screamin' Heather:

Nice one. That's a better start than Ketchup from the Black Lagoon. There's got to be some garlic-based hot sauce out there that will serve.

Screamin' Dave said...

The Sauce From The Black Lagoon.

Sauce of Satan.

Steamin' Demon Semen.

Gory Gravy.

Corpse Squeezins.

They Sauced Hitler's Brain.

Screamin' Dave said...

Fuck, I totally ripped off your Black Lagoon joke. Knew that entered my increasingly sieve-like brain from somewhere.

cattleworks said...

That is so great that Isabel Samaras and The Undertaker hisself stopped by and chatted!

Meanwhile:
"Steamin' Demon Semen:" EWW!
Although, mental images aside, it sounds totally cool!
And it makes me think of a tie-in with the movie and comic book for KILLER CONDOM, although, that would seem a bitter fit with a prophylactic tie-in than a hot sauce.
Hey, "better fit!" I made a funny!
(Also, technically, the condom is the monster not the, uh, dog, so the Demon Semen doesn't actually follow, in this case...
However, having said that,
it seems that the Alice Cooper film MONSTER DOG would be open to some hotdog/hot sauce lovin'... like, uh, Dog Drool of the Damned?
Eww... THAT'S disgusting, too...

"They Sauced Hitler's Brain..."
ha! That also rocks!

Dammit, Screamin' Dave! How'm I supposed to maintain my bitter animosity towards you for winning the horror haiku contest when you come up with great shit like that!?
Grrr... he growled conflictedly...

cattleworks said...

Hey, I see a bikini-ed witch chimed in as well!
That is so cool!
And hot!
Because you KNOW she's wearing her bikini while she's surfing the 'net as well!

Victor "The Undertaker" Ives said...

Hmmm...leaning towards "Corpse Squeezins"! That paints a pretty picture...how about "Corpse Concentrate"?! It would have to be a thick sauce, a paste that you'd add vinegar to. Hell, there could be two vials in a pack, one w/ the Corpse Concentrate and the other w/ vinegar! "Corpse Concentrate-Just Add Embalming Fluid and Stir!" You'd mix-em yourself!!

"Dog Drool of the Damned!?" Although disgusting, the Ghoul Drool Green Hot Sauce IS one of my best sellers!

(Isn't this fun?!)

Stay Rotten,

Victor "The Undertaker" Ives
Zombie@HauntedHotSauce.com

CRwM said...

Undertaker Ives:

Though I don't see how to work in the Creature angle (I know I need to let it go – but think of the marketing potential with a creature remake coming out this summer!), the mix-your-own concept is a winner.

What about Franken-sauce?

It could come in a series of separate tubes and jars, each containing a different ingredient. Then customers could add flavor and spice to suit – trying out different proportions until they found one that fit.

You do the whole thing up in a mad scientist motif, slap a body-part themed name on the container of each separate ingredient, and let people go nuts.