Friday, December 15, 2006

Contest: Horror haiku.

On this blog, I've reviewed three novels from Dark Horse Press' Universal Monster tie-in series. The first was Paul Di Filippo's Time's Black Lagoon featuring everybody's favorite man-fish. Next up was Stephan Petrucha's monster versus madman showdown, Shadow of Frankenstein. Finally, today, I reviewed Witcover's excellent Dracula: Asylum. I going to give you all three of these books, slightly used but free of charge!

What do you have to do? Nothing.

Well, almost nothing.

And Now the Screaming Starts is holding its first ever contest and entering is as easy as counting to five, then seven, then five again.

Write a haiku featuring your favorite horror figure. It could be an 80s slasher or one of the Universal stable or one of those creepy ghost chicks that J-horror can't get enough of. I can't tell you who to pick. How the hell do I know who your favorites are? Get your head in the game, man. Think.

Here's the rules:
1. Write in English.
2. Submit your haiku as a comment to this entry. Haikus that show up elsewhere can't win.
3. The title of your haiku should be the character's name.
4. Submit as many as you like. Go to town.
5. Contest limited to residents of the continent of North America.
6. I'm choosing a winner on the afternoon (NYC-time) of the 22nd, so get your best efforts in before then.

Here's a sample:

Freddy
Nightmare teen stalker.
Can do anything he wants,
Except pick his nose.


Like that, only not sucky.

The winner will be the one I like best. If I pick your haiku, I'll send you my copies of all three books (they've been read – if you're anal about that, don't enter) and I'll pay the postage.

Have fun, dear readers.

13 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:25 AM

    Deadly Spider from NUDE FOR SATAN:

    Eight pipe cleaners strain
    For hot Calderoni flesh.
    Absurd wet nightmare

    This Italian dish,
    “Trapped” in my non-sticky snare
    (Boy Scout made? Hang on!)

    My ping pong eyes pop,
    Like her breast from cheap nightie.
    I hover lamely

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous9:28 AM

    Evelyn, Susan’s Tempting Darker Other-Self from NUDE FOR SATAN:

    She nibbles my mouth
    Her nude body entwines me
    Why is this evil?

    She’s hot for my bod,
    But chuckles at Susan’s plight:
    NOW what, Erection?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous9:36 AM

    Godzilla

    Screaming! Destruction!
    Wait, there’s… cheering? “Go-jira!”
    FLASH! Stupid tourists.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous6:02 PM

    Title: Samara

    It's not the black hair,
    The backwards crawl, the drowning.
    Nope. It's the static.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous3:01 PM

    The Devil/ ROSEMARY’S BABY

    I’m bad, that’s my rep.
    I knocked up ol’ Blue Eyes’ frau
    Just because I COULD.


    Michael Myers/ HALLOWEEN

    The night HE came home,
    Was he consciously stalking
    MARION CRANE’S child?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous9:55 AM

    The Monster

    Peter Boyle dies
    No more puttin on the iiitz
    No love for Raymond

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sasquatchan,

    Nice one. A timely tribute.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous8:47 AM

    Jenifer /Dario Argento’s JENIFER

    The flesh that brings lust?
    Or the face that finds mercy?
    Can you pass her test?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous1:48 PM

    CHUCKY

    Little psychopath
    I love your OshKosh B'gosh
    But not your sequels

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous1:55 PM

    JACK FROST

    Serial killer
    Acid made you fuse with snow
    Ain't fuckin' Frosty!

    Scaring the neighbors
    Raping with your carrot nose
    Christmas came early

    Is it cold in here?
    Look out, Jack! That cop's not dumb
    Beware antifreeze

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous9:52 AM

    JASON:

    Ultimate mom’s boy-
    not tied to bloody apron-
    but twisted tree’s fruit

    Secretly watching
    He waits to make it three-way
    Machete erect

    Dream: ice, like red slush;
    His stick- a human skewer.
    He gets the shut-out!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous12:03 PM

    Face-hugger/ALIEN

    Two-fisted death grip
    Sprung on curious Kane, with
    Deep throating “welcome!”


    Chest-burster/ALIEN

    Uninvited guest
    Suddenly exits rudely
    Kane’s worst week ever


    ALIEN

    Hans Rudi’s brainspawn:
    Obscene bio-mechanics
    Predatory id

    ReplyDelete
  13. This contest is officially over.

    I'll post the name of the winner in the next entry.

    ReplyDelete